This week Riley is attending an All-Sports day camp put on by our school district. It's basically just five days of different sports. We thought it would be a great chance for her to play sports that she doesn't really know if she would like or not rather than putting her in a league that we then would pay for and risk her ending up hating it after a week. It's turning out to be exactly what we hoped for with some kickball and dodgeball thrown in there. I'm a little confused as to why they would be doing those sports since they seem more like a gym class type of game and not really a "sport" that schools compete in. They are also playing softball, tennis, basketball, soccer, volleyball and lacrosse though so I'll excuse them a little dodgeball now and then. I don't think they are playing it every day.
This is her first activity of this nature (other than school) where we take her and leave her there and she does her thing. Her other extra-curricular activities she had done in the past (piano and soccer) we have gone and stayed with her through the practices and lessons. The camp is bigger than I was imagining although that was my own fault since I knew the facts behind it. It is for students in 2nd through 6th grades and it is for all the schools in our district. There are five (maybe six if I'm forgetting one) elementary schools in our district if that gives you an idea of how many kids we are talking about here. They meet at one of the middle schools so every morning this week she has to be there at 8am. I wasn't really sure what to expect yesterday when I took her for the first time, if the coaches and counselors would all be standing outside in a playing field or if they would go inside the building or what. I had intended to do a drive by the school over the weekend so I would be sure I knew where I was going but that didn't end up working out so we went on Monday not really knowing how it would play out. Turned out that they all meet in one of the gyms inside the building first. She was going to be issued a locker there and had to bring some sports equipment and things like that. So I walked her in, following the flow of other parents walking in with kids carrying sporting equipment and made our way to the correct gym (apparently there are two and the other one is occupied with band camp this week as well). There were a decent number of kids going in at that time but not an overwhelming number. When we got to the correct gym, however, I was really surprised how many kids were in there. She was directed to sit with the other 2nd grade girls and went to them without looking back but I knew how nervous she was about her first day so I wasn't sure if she wanted me to leave or not. I went to tell her goodbye just so she would know I was going and when I did leave it was so hard for me! She looked so uncertain going in but there was nothing I could do to make that better or easier for her except to encourage her to go on and get in there. She wasn't sure if she would even know any of the girls who were there.
She ended up having a blast yesterday and did know two of the girls who also attend the elementary school she does. She made friends with another girl who goes to a different school as well. But again today when I took her, she wanted us to walk in with her again, even though she is allowed to walk in alone if she wants to but once we hit the door of the gym, I asked her if she wanted me to walk her all the way in and she said no. I guess I am now the embarrassing mom who won't leave her kid. She went on in alone and I watched through the windows in the door as she went through the short tunnel that the bleachers form around the doorway and it was hard again not to follow her and make sure she found her way to friendly faces. Because she is in the youngest grade for the camp, the majority of the campers are older and bigger than her and I don't normally see her in groups like that with a lot of kids who are bigger than she is. She is so tall that when she is around her classmates, she is pretty much always the tallest one there. Seeing her moving through so many bigger kids, hesitating behind them because she wasn't prepared to push her way through, was so hard to watch and a major preview for me for how I'll feel when she moves out of elementary school, and especially when she hits high school. Our district has multiple elementaries, two each intermediate (5th and 6th grade) and middle (7th and 8th grade) schools but just one high school that all those kids filter into. I'm sure the high school is huge and confusing. My hope is that they will split it into two high schools before she gets up that far but for now I'll have to assume she'll go to just the one. I remember how intimidating high school can be and I now have those mom moments when I can foresee being nervous for her as she starts, that she'll be able to find her way and make friends who will be good for her and nice to her. I know she is only going into third grade but at this rate high school will be here next year!
It's funny because when my kids went through the younger milestones like moving out of a crib or starting preschool or even starting kindergarten I have felt an element of nostalgia for their younger years and stages of life but the older they get, especially Riley since everything she goes through is a first for all of us with her being the oldest, the harder it is for me and more emotional I feel. It's not that I don't want her to experience these things or that I want her to stay a little girl, it's just that she is getting old enough now to be much more independent in her milestones. I can't help her or be there for her to make sure she is OK anymore and while I want her to be able to have those experiences and I know she will do great and make friends easily, it's so easy for me to worry about her and if she is OK. I have spent the last two days praying for her through my chores around the house, that she would have fun and be safe and make friends. I guess this is an element already of letting go of my kids - letting her go in and do something completely on her own, without me knowing what was going to happen there ahead of time or me being there the whole time to make sure she is being treated right and having a good time and participating. It seems silly for me to have such a hard time with this when she goes to school by herself all the time. She gets on the bus no problems and it never really worries me. Maybe it's because she's been doing that for several years and I know basically what she is doing at school, I've usually met her teacher, and she's been doing the whole bus routine for three years now so that is old hat for us. Or maybe it's just me, and getting older is making me more emotional. Who knows?
1 comment:
This would be really hard for me too! I completely understand your feelings. It's hard when you don't know who is running things and how good of a job they will do. I'm glad she's enjoying herself though! You'll have to be sure and post when it's over and share what sports she liked the most after this week.
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